Manners Matter

The Princess Diaries (Julia Andrews)

 

Alright, so I have this pet peeve. I would like to give all the credit to my family, who has always taught me to say “please”, “thank you”, and “excuse me”. This ultimate pet peeve of mine is when people refuse to use manners! I suppose many have not been taught to use some manners since I have faced it when working with the public.

If you have or do work in a fast food restaurant, retail store, or any other possible pit of Hell work place, I feel your distress. My last job was at a McDonald’s and I dealt with ludicrous people on a weekly basis (maybe even a daily basis). Most of the people were just strangers, some were regulars who came in everyday, and there were a few people who were “Oh, God, not them again!”

The few people who were “Oh, God, not them again!” were the type who were disrespectful and rude would cause anyone to stun them silent as a monk. At least, they would with me. After all, it was my job to do or give whatever the customer wanted. I couldn’t “back talk” since it would be a definite termination. These people wouldn’t even bother to say “hello” in return if you greeted them, they would ignore you and just say what they wanted to order. Or even utter the word “thank you” when they received their food.

Another thing that enrages me to no end is when I ask someone how they are and they reply, not bothering to ask how you are. My logic is: If I asked you how you are, took the time to actually be kind and considerate, you could at least ask how I am. Now, I know certain people have this thought in their head about if they ask someone how they are they’ll hear a lot of extra baggage they don’t want to hear, which is true with a few people I have met. Well, I can’t think of a few, but I can think of one person.

Since I live and work in a teeny town called Rochester, everyone tends to bump into each other and recognize faces. When I was still working at McDonald’s there was this one middle-aged man who was somewhat of a regular. He’s of average height, has a gut, and always wears a cap to shield his already balding head. Not to mention that he reeks and can cloud an area with his odd stench. I would greet him whenever he strolled in and he would always (and still does) greet me in return, adding on “How are you?” I would (and still always) reply with a simple “good” and then in return ask how he is.

I tell you, this man never ever fails to whine about his life. He’s mentioned how he doesn’t really have any family left, how he’s so isolated and depressed. I feel this is his way to receive attention, the sympathetic attention since he doesn’t get much. Yet, you can only take listening inventively for so long. Well, for me at least…

Now that I work at the library, that man does come in often like he would at McDonald’s. I only greet him with a “hello” now, but he still greets in return and asks how I am. I still listen to his sob stories, but I don’t bother to respond much to it. With him always asking how I am, I will always ask him how he is simply because it’s polite and I was raised that way. He takes the time to ask me how I am; I should take the time to ask how he is. (It doesn’t necessarily mean I have to listen, though)! That’s cruel to do and say, but at least he believes I’m listening.

I’m sure a lot of people don’t realize how they can dramatically make someone’s day just by being kind by asking how they are or telling them to have a nice day. It certainly makes my day superb whenever I tell a patron to have a nice day and they reply with, “Thank you, you too!” Sometimes people will even beat me from saying it first.

I realize a lot of people could care less about how a stranger feels. You don’t know if that stranger is going through a rough patch, you don’t know if they are strolling through life like a breeze. People think that what they say won’t matter, but it does. Your words matter. Words can have a tiny effect or a major effect on anyone, if not everyone. I know I just can’t be the only one content with a stranger asking me how I am or to tell me to have a great day.

Lastly, when someone holds open the door for you it’s polite to say, “Thank you.” It is also polite to hold a door open for someone if they’re right beyond you or just going in. If they fail to say “Thank you”, remark on their rude manner with a, “You’re welcome.”